October 2003 Vol. 3 Issue 12	An Internet Newsletter publication for all CIM Alumni and friends.

     I don’t know about you but I consider devastating hurricane like Isabel as Nature’s way of clearing the air, and bringing the world fresh and clean to every one’s attention once more. Mother Nature wants to remind us that with the exception of perhaps some organisms, every living thing needs clean and fresh air. It makes me feel a lot better to think along this line during hard times. It motivates me to make the best of the bad situation. The dark nights Isabel brought were simply to be endured, waited out in order for us to understand once again that events both pleasant and unpleasant would come to pass and that tough times never last. And that the properties like cars and houses Isabel destroyed are only things, and the lives it took remind us that our life can come to an end anytime, any place, anywhere.

A misguided confidence
    When hurricane Isabel was forecast to arrive here in Central Virginia on Thursday, September 18, during the day the sky was clear and the weather was calm and cool. It was hard to believe that a catastrophe was about to happen in the night. I guess it was what is called “calm before the storm.” I reported to work like it was business as usual. After our rounds that morning, my boss asked me whether I plan to sleep in the hospital during the night because everyone was planning to. He was concerned that since the patients from the state facility in Eastern Virginia were evacuated to our facility, we should stay during the night in case of emergency. If we chose to stay home, we might not be able to come to the hospital for emergency if the storm gets bad.

     I was not really concerned about the hurricane, for having experienced typhoons in Camotes, I was confident that it would not be that bad. I did not even bother to make some preparation even for a night or two, let alone weeks in the aftermath although my wife had bought a couple of lamps and a bottle of lamp oil. She also replaced the batteries of our flashlights with new ones. After all, this is America where businesses won’t tolerate any delay in services from whatever cause. I’ve found out later that my confidence was terribly misguided. Indeed what I’ve found later made me promise myself never to flirt, let alone fool around with any hurricane particularly the ones having a lady’s name.

     At lunchtime, I went home and picked up things for overnight camping in my office like a sleeping bag, pajama, etc. The weather remained calm and the wind was nothing more than a pleasant breeze although it started to rain, just a shower, not a downpour. At around 6:00 P.M., I realized that I forgot my toothbrush and my special natural non-allergenic shampoo. Also, I didn’t have anything to eat. Every one was prepared except me. When the weather person in TV said that Isabel would arrive at our place between 8:00 P.M – 10:00 P.M., I immediately ordered pizza. I figured out that since I wanted to go home anyway to pick up few things I needed for the night, I might as well pick up the pizza on my way back. When I got outside, the wind had already picked up strength and the rain was heavy, but the deteriorating weather condition did not stop me from going out, let alone shake my confidence.

The flirt
    About 20 minutes after I left the hospital and about a mile to our house, down the road I saw a pick-up truck that appeared to be floating with its hazard lights on. It was stuck because the road was flooded. Since I did not see any sign of anyone in the truck that may need help, I turned around to drive back to the hospital, for the wind was getting stronger and the weather was fast deteriorating. I was getting worried, no longer hungry and so I did not bother with the pizza. Immediately after I’ve turned around, I had the hunch that I needed to step on the gas pedal hard and accelerate. I had never accelerated on a wet road before but this time I did.

     A moment or two later, the street and traffic lights flickered and went out and I could hear the wind whistling, shaking my vehicle and making the driving rough. The road was almost invisible because the rain was pouring and pelting on my vehicle’s windshield like being in a carwash. Just then the leaves of the trees started to rattle loud and noisy as if gravels were being poured on the side of the street by a dump truck. This was followed by loud cracking and crashing noises. They happened so fast and were frightening. Even inside the closed vehicle, the noises and the darkness were eerie like death was on its way. My heart started pounding and my hands were in cold sweat although I was not about to be swept on the verge of panic yet. I did not look back, but I knew those cracking and crashing noises were trees breaking and falling. Indeed they were because in the morning, the road was closed and I could see those trees littered all over the road blocking it. I was not able to come home until later that day.

Risk without reward
     Although I only encountered the initial strength of Isabel like a sort of warning of what was about to come and I was already inside the hospital when the main force came, it was a harrowing experience. The wind was already a lot stronger than any of the typhoons I had experienced in Camotes, and more dangerous because of the so many trees. The wind stripped the trees of its leaves and small branches, and blew them away. Some of them pelted on my windshield.  I was glad that I followed my hunch to accelerate because if I lingered for a moment or two, I could have been easily hit by one of those falling trees or got stuck on the road. I was definitely relieved when I got to the Interstate where the trees are farther from the highway. But the driving was shaky. I had to put my vehicle on a four-wheel drive and drove slow and easy.

     I believe the main force of Isabel arrived just after 7:00 P.M. that day of September 18, not 8:00 P.M. as was being forecast, because when I shone my flashlight through the window at the back of our hospital at around 7:30 P.M. after I hanged my borrowed raincoat, removed my shoes and dried myself up a little bit, the three huge oak trees in our hospital’s picnic area had already fallen. The main force missed me by few minutes, but sometimes the difference between life and death is a matter of seconds. I realized then that I had gambled or risked my life for a pizza, a toothbrush and a bottle of shampoo all of which I didn’t get. But then, as Brandon Frazer said in the movie The Mummy, “I only gamble with my life, not with my money.”

The aftermath
     The aftermath of Isabel was like hell for many people. In fact, the Richmond Times Dispatch called Isabel, Isa-Hell. Without power, life was tough. For the first three days, all we ate were canned goods and some chips that were in our pantry for probably months or even year when the kids used to eat them. The grocery stores and restaurants were closed. Also, with only a couple of gas stations opened, the line was almost two miles long and thus I saw no reason wasting what’s left of my vehicle’s gas tank driving around looking for food stores or restaurants until at least more gas stations are open. Driving around was also dangerous because there were no traffic lights. Virtually all of them were out.

     The absence of electricity was definitely frustrating. As it dragged on from days to a week, it snapped the patience of so many people who, complained and blamed the utility company for not doing enough to restore their power. I was able to calm myself down by indulging on the knowledge that others were a lot worse than us. In fact they were, not just from Isabel, but also from the tornadoes that Isabel had spawned, about four or five of them, that touched down a couple of days later in places not far from us during the early morning hours. The tornadoes devastated and flattened more houses leaving only the toilet bowls that stood like unique huge mushrooms in an open field. The toilet bowls were still working though and still flushed water, but no privacy.

Getting used to difficult times
     I felt sorry for the people that had it really bad with Isabel and those hit by the tornadoes, but their terrible fate made me feel more fortunate and more grateful of our situation which was definitely a whole lot better than theirs, and helped me make up my mind to get used to living without electricity. It put me in the good frame of mind in a bad situation at a bad time to readily understand that the utility company was simply being overwhelmed by the extent of the devastation. In fact, thousands of electrical workers from Texas, Alabama, Florida, Georgia with their huge trucks and equipments came to help restore power in Virginia, but the damage was just too much to have the power restored for every one in a matter of days. They were able to do it though, after more than two weeks.

     Once you have accepted the fact that the situation is beyond your control and there’s nothing anyone can do about it but to wait, life becomes a lot easier to live. You have no choice but to learn to get used to the situation, or your days and nights would be filled with worries, bitterness and frustrations. You would become powerless and miserable. It would be like allowing the circumstances to basically take your life away from you.

     The most difficult to get used to was taking cold shower every morning in the dark. As soon as the cold water hit my body, it took my breath away. It stiffened the muscles of my back although that little one in front shriveled. Poor thing. It shrunk to a pitiful size like the turtle’s head trying to hide in its shell every time I took that cold shower. Another difficult thing to get used to was inhaling the fumes of the lamps or lamparillas. It gave me headaches.

Life is not fair
     With many trees around our yard, it’s surprising that none of them succumbed to Isabel. Most of our neighbors had at least one or two trees uprooted by Isabel. Our next door neighbor had her garage destroyed and a car crumpled by a fallen tree. It’s because of the so many fallen trees bringing down the electrical wires and posts with them that our area was one of the last ones the utility company fixed and restored.

     Isabel devastated so many properties and changed the lives of the many people here in Virginia and North Carolina in particular. Lucky for me the only debris I needed to pick up were the leaves and the broken tree branches littered all over our yard. Others have to pick up the pieces and debris of their lives for a long time. Life is not fair. It never was, and it never will be. It’s better to learn to get used to it, expect the worst and hope for the best.

Making the best of the bad situation
    The experience with Isabel and its aftermath has dramatically altered my perspective in life. I’ve learned to appreciate every little thing than I used to. Things I took for granted have become more precious. For the first time in a long time, I realized how bright and beautiful the stars are in the dark. Since I was forced to sleep early every night and I often woke up between 3:00 A.M. - 4:00 A.M., while it was still dark and quiet, I had the pleasure of evoking pleasant memories as well as fantasies by looking at the stars. Alone in the dark, the vast universe has a way of taking you to fantasyland and to a dream-like state that makes you indulge on the memories of the blast in the past. I guess the absence of the moon made the stars more magical.

     When the world around is swallowed by darkness, the beauty of the sky that is adorned by the stars of different sizes and brilliance is breathtaking. I believe the stars were winking at me every time I was staring at them. I wished I had a telescope. I could have seen them smile. There was nothing like it, and I’m grateful to have the opportunities of having been captivated by such natural wonder that can only beheld in the wee hours of the morning when darkness rules the world and all you could hear is the sound of silence broken only by the intermittent songs of the crickets and the occasional barking of a dog from a distance.

And then there was light
    Our electricity was finally restored almost two weeks after, in the night of the 13th day to be exact, but another more than two weeks was needed to restore our cable Internet connection. Because we had nothing in our refrigerator and freezers since we had to throw them away, for they stunk to high heaven after several days without electricity, I had to go to Wal-Mart late in that night just to buy some food to cook and coffee to brew for breakfast in the morning. We probably had more than a hundred pounds of fish and meat as well as other food items that were spoiled in our freezers and fridge.

     The morning after our electricity was restored, the hot shower felt like heaven. The omelet I cooked tasted like it’s the best food I’ve ever eaten in my life. Indeed for almost two weeks eating canned goods and food from outside, I’ve missed the food cooked in our own kitchen. Dining in restaurants every day and night for almost two weeks following the loss of electricity made me feel like eating was no longer an enjoyment but an obligation for the necessary nourishment; not a pleasure but a penalty for bad luck. Food was more of a filling than a great taste, and thus less satisfying.

     I guess I could have gotten used to eating food from different restaurants and enjoy, but if you’re like me who, would rather cook your own breakfast and brew your own coffee, you would probably have the feeling that something is definitely missing. I prefer to make my own coffee in the morning especially on weekends. I just enjoy it – the aroma while the coffee is still brewing and the taste that is so satisfying, particularly drinking it while reading the morning paper.

The stuffs of life
    One thing that Isabel had demonstrated to us is that everything we have no matter how precious, including our own life, can be taken away at any time or at any moment. Each of us is put on this earth to learn, love, laugh, share, appreciate and enjoy. We should make the most out of every single day by stopping and taking a little time to notice and make important the little things in life that all too often we overlook as we hurry ourselves to our daily routines. They can be something to cherish and savor and make our day enjoyable.

     We are all blessed with a universe filled with many things to be grateful for, things of beauty we can derive pleasure from, things to appreciate, love and enjoy. We can go to the river or beach, for example, walk barefoot and enjoy the pleasant feeling of the water lapping our legs, or the unique sensation of the rocks or sands that come in contact with the soles of our feet. We can stop at the ice cream or yogurt place on our way home from work and cherish and savor a scoop or two or even three of our favorite flavor.

     Certainly, there are many “important things” in our life that we feel we need to think and worry about like work, family, children’s problems that affect us, mortgages, etc. “So why waste our time on trivia,” we ask. But gratefulness or gratitude needs awareness and practice to develop, and what could be a better way of expressing our gratitude than to enjoy the things we are blessed with, the little things that are called the stuffs of life.

Gratitude, a neglected virtue
    Gratitude is essential in life because gratitude provides balance and healing of the mind. Gratitude gives us the feeling of being connected to the world around us and to the people in our lives. It helps us convince ourselves that every one deserves to be happy. Suffice it to say, the more we spend our lives wanting what we don’t have, the less grateful we are with what we already have, and the less we think of others.

    Also, gratitude makes it easier for us to cultivate the willingness to readily accept situations that are beyond our control and not allow such situations to disturb or depress our mood, to put our mind in distress, and to rob us of the happiness that is always ours to experience. It also makes it easier for us to learn to slide past the negative situations that confront us by making us realize that every experience good or bad is a profit, every step we take forward is a progress, and every barrier we struggle through is simply a reminder that long-term happiness is not the by-product of short-term gratification.

Conclusion
    Once again, everything you have whatever it is, however precious, including your life, no matter how hard you hang on to it, no matter how careful you take care of it, and no matter how much you work and spend for it, can be taken away at any moment. So enjoy what you have and be happy with what you are blessed with, no matter how little and how insignificant you may think they are. Enjoying them or being happy with them is the best way and may even be the only way of expressing your gratitude with sincerity.

     It’s practically impossible to find joy and happiness in things we are not grateful for, just as it’s practically impossible to be sincerely grateful for things we are not happy with. You cannot be happy with what’s given to you that you are not grateful for. Can you?