May 2002 Vol. 2 Issue 8
An Internet Newsletter publication of the American Society of CIM Alumni, Inc.
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May 2002 Vol. 2 Issue 8 |
An Internet Newsletter publication of the American Society of CIM Alumni, Inc. | |
THE ASOCIMAI OFFICERS: Dominador Ong, M.D. Board Members: Horace Cabasares, M.D. CME Chairperson: BRAIN WAVES STAFF: Editorial Board: Maida Antigua, M.D. Editor and Technical Adviser: Staff Correspondents: Send news, articles, pictures, announcement, obituary, etc., to:clems3ra@rcn.com
| Editor's ColumnTHINKING and the CHILDREN"They are ill discoverers that think there is no land when they can see nothing but sea." - Francis Bacon
Whatever was done to me, I'm grateful of them. But wait a minute. Don't do this to your kids, certainly not the hit on the head. I had a rough-and-tumble life and did not have many options but to survive and to surpass my weaknesses and inadequacies. Kids, these days, have more options than they know how to sort frogs from Princes. They play video and computer games day in and day out like it's the last day of their life. Or they are burning CDs like they are competing with every kid in the world who keeps up with every new rap and rock music album. They have everything we could not even imagine, let alone dream of when we, ourselves, were kids, and yet they often complain they don't have much. Probably because they have gotten used to getting what they want without much effort, their psyche has become very fragile that oftentimes you have to walk on eggshells not to tip the delicate balance and crack or break it. Thus thinking is needed to be able to deal with the kids these days properly. You have to approach them with cool rationality, not hot emotion, in order to have meaningful discussions, not meaningless arguments; and apply persuasion, not physical violence. For what they need is a gentle and steady hand, guidance and encouragement, not tightening of the reins. Otherwise you’ll end up with frequent verbal skirmishes, an outbreak of banging doors or a yelling contest in the family. We must realize that there is a stage in the children’s life when they discover that the old way or their parents' way is not always the best way. What we see as youthful rebellion is nothing more than the final attempt by those youths to think for themselves. Routine Loss of Common Sense |
Notice that as we get used to acting without thinking, we often forget to use our common sense. In our hospital, we have a fire drill at least once a month. Our administrator has become obsessed with it after we had a fire and the response was chaotic. The procedure has always been that when we hear the fire alarm and an announcement where the fire is located, employees who can't get hold of a fire extinguisher and thus will not be involved in putting out the fire, must gather in the front lobby until they are told what to do. Then one day the announcement was clear that the fire is raging in the front lobby. Still everyone gathered in the front lobby and I was the only one who went outside and had some fresh air with the fire marshal. The fire marshal told them that they are either dead or dying from smoke inhalation or from burns. To me, their potential death would not be from burns or smoke inhalation, but from losing their common sense. I know, it would not happen like that in a real situation. It's just that we are used to acting automatically that common sense is no longer an essential part of our life.
Indeed Sherlock Holmes touched on a weakness common to us all when he castigated Watson with this famous line: "You see, Watson! But you do not observe!" We see the world around us, we watch TV, we read the newspaper, but we are in such a hurry to move on to our routines that we do not really think about what we have seen, read or heard. We hear our kids complain, but we rarely if ever listen.
Private Memo to Parents
Every time I have a disagreement with my teenage son, it often leads to remind me of a heart-broken father whose promising young son got into several bouts of trouble - and finally wound up in jail. The father sobbed over and over saying, "What have I done to deserve this? What have I done?" To me, he would have been better off if he asked instead, "What have I not done to deserve this?"
First of all, if the father had been thinking, he would have realized that a son of his could get into trouble. He had assumed just like many parents that that could only happen in other homes. He had forgotten what it was like to be a boy, and especially ignored the reality that society has changed and has become a lot different than from a generation ago. Instead, he had somehow expected his teenager to see the world and think like a middleager, without the necessary experience such perception requires. He had depended upon or expected his talks, lectures, sermons, advises, warnings, and perhaps threats or guilt to do what only an example can accomplish, forgetting that character is caught, not taught. He had allowed expectation to triumph over reality, wishes over work, talking over listening, and threats over help and guidance.
Young people need all the emotional outlet adults need, only sooner. They need more listening than lecturing, observing than just seeing, guidance than threat, leading than pushing, and getting involved with what they care about than just ignoring them with what they are doing. Their complaints and opinions should not be taken for granted, and their youthful wisdom should be respected. They should be made or encouraged to realize that anything about the family such as reputation, peace, harmony, and even fortune, is a joint responsibility that they too must share. They should be provided with all the help they need within reason and a substantial amount of praise and appreciation for their achievements no matter how small, to make them acquire enough self-respect to outweigh their well-concealed doubts. And accompanied by all the affection we can muster, we simply hope that they develop their own sort of spiritual compass - to let them know when they are off course - before they crash. - Clem
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The Alumni Reunion Activities
| Wednesday, July 10 | Arrival and Welcome Party at the Grand Hyatt 7-11 pm (food, fun and frolic provided; come as you are, but no G-string bikini for women and no bahag for men. Diapers are allowed for both.) | |
| July 11 and 12, | CME in the morning 8:00 - 12:30 Afternoon - free time for shopping and sports activities. Bring plenty of money or just your shorts. Visit your senators and congressmen. Invite them to the Grand Ball and charge them double particularly if they are Demotaxrats. | |
| Thursday, July 11 | "Let's Have Fun In DC" Party 7-11 pm Dance, sing, or just talk and joke the night away. Tsismis okay; gossips?…aaah…maybe. | |
| Friday, July 12 | Banquet Reception 7 pm sharp Tony Cheng Seafood Restaurant 619 H Street NW ( 3 blocks from hotel ) Wear your dentures. Pureed and blenderized food not on the menu. But bananas are. Be prompt. Late comers will have to eat some eels. | |
| Saturday, July 13 | Evening - Grand Ball NOTE: Request for your preferred sitting arrangement now! Ladies, make your husband proud of you. Wear your best girdle, gown and jewelry. But please don't forget to wear your panty. This is not the time to be ready. Afterward perhaps. Gentlemen, don't forget to tell your wife how pretty she looks. And wear your tux. | |
| Sunday, July 14 | Departure for Home or European Tour of Austria Hugs and kisses voluntary; Tears not allowed. Check your car tires and drive safely. Don't let Firestone invite you to a blowout. Don't bring any knives to the plane. You'll be detained. Don't put any string under your foot. You'll go home barefoot. San Diego, CA next year. Go west, young man! And attend your reunion! Or was it find your fortune!? |
NOTE: Voluntary Only - We want to take pictures of each class group on Thursday, Friday or Saturday evening for our web site and newsletter. You don't have to smile. We can take picture with you frowning. But you might not be able to recognize yourself in the picture. It's your choice.
The Annual ASOCIMAI CME Program
Grand Hyatt Hotel, Washington, D.C. July 11-12, 2002
THURSDAY, July 11, 2002
7:30 - 8:00 A M | Registration and Breakfast | ||
8:00 - 8:05 A M | Welcome Address | ||
8:05 - 9:05 A M | "Ultrasonography in the Management of Breast Diseases: An Office-Based Experience" | ||
9:10 - 10:10 A M | "Update on Breast Imaging" | ||
10:10 - 10:30 A M | B R E A K | ||
10:30 - 11:30 A M | "Spinal Anesthesia: Old Myths, New Tales" | ||
11:35 - 12:35 P M | "Using ASOCIMAI Foundation to Create a Family Legacy" | ||
12:35 - Afternoon | LUNCH and Free Time |
7:30 - 8:00 A M | Registration and Breakfast | ||
8:00 - 8:05 A M | WELCOME | ||
8:05 - 9:05 A M | "Uveitis Diagnosis and Therapy: A Recommendation for Change" | ||
9:05 - 10:05 A M | "A New Millenium for Peripheral Vascular Disease" | ||
10:05 - 10:20 A M | B R E A K | ||
10:20 - 11:20 A M | "Innovations in Arthritis Management, from Logical to Biological" | ||
11:25 - 12:25 P M | "Diagnosis and Management of Migraines" | ||
12:20 - Afternoon | LUNCH and Whatever You Want |
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Karaoke In The Tropical Sun
by Ernie Yu, M.D. CIM Class 1973
From personal glimpses, a finite number of regular-seeming Joes and Carols in Buffalo easily exhibit psychosomatic rashes, tic and other neurological cues of uneasiness when summoned to touch base with the Orientals' national affinity to crooning in front of TV-projected lyrics enhanced by video clips and grand orchestral surround sound. I can recall having several blue-eyed colleagues for cocktail and hors d'oeuvres when, out of the blue, I punctured the festive air with a thrust of my throaty baritone to Frank Sinatra's velvety vibrato on laser disc. To my bewilderment, nobody emitted a "yaup" of deranged pleasure to my (believe me, it was!) shimmer of melody and feeling. Instead, my perennially tanned guests displayed bemused looks as if I flipped in a cordless bungee jump or my solo endeavor made dentist drills sound like musical! They were dumbfounded by how, bolstered by alcohol stupor, I retreaded Elvis Presley's classic hits into moans of Pygmies' mating rites. Furthermore, they shuddered to think how tiny Ernie could trade choral slugs for slugs with Elton John's A-sharp and B-minor pops without coming off icily stiff. For a native Iliganon, to realize that majority of Americans don't possess the circuitry to master the love of karaoke with a sort of manic intensity is astoundingly weird since they are generally strong-willed and distinctly articulate troops. By contrast, Asians have an inner gift for eroticizing humility and self-deprecating wit, and are fairly subdued in all categories of social behavior. Until they, drooling in anticipation, cross the line of reason when in possession of the almighty sing-along microphone. At this beastly transformation, the difference between professional tonal outburst and torturing amateurish squeaks is mere spellings and semantics. Hence, Karaoke bars may be glibly hip to park your flanks and may be next step to heaven in the Philippines, but in the States, they are so-so funhouses flushed with a cool as a cucumber treatment and populated by - you guess it perfectly - transplanted inhabitants from the planet of the tropical sun who settle in such recreation with the sort of benumbed fascination. Incidentally, I have a conservative Chinese neighbor - innately mellow, a dynamo of simple hello-and-goodbye phrases - whose personality maneuvers a 180 degrees U-turn when in sight of a karaoke virus. In fact, with his hot wire-intensity, he can mimic the Beatles by himself (visualize that if you can). The negative spin? He has not mastered the proven knack to sink his teeth back to his emotional lethargy once engrossed in echoing his "toxic voodoo". And I have to exist harmoniously by this adjacent plague. Biometric technology, although in its infancy stage, is going to be the technology for identifying criminals and terrorists in the future particularly after the September 11 terrorists' attacks in the U.S. Biometrics is a science of identifying individuals by specific traits using super high-speed computers and software. With several biometric systems installed in places like airports, malls, subways, sporting events and businesses, they are able to spot and recognize known criminals and terrorists in large crowds. Suppose you're a criminal or a terrorist in a crowd of 50,000 people, you would probably think that you are blending in or are safe in such large numbers. Wrong. An intricate system of cameras and closed-circuit televisions can zero in on you and spot you in less than 30 seconds. Instantly, your face is recorded - creating a virtual faceprint - that is matched against millions of known criminals and terrorists in an extensive database. The faceprint is resistant to changes in lighting, skin tone, eyeglasses, facial expressions and hair. No matter how frequent you smile or frown, your faceprint is the same. This biometric technology is like a super fingerprint. Only instead of taking minutes or hours to match up a fingerprint, this system instantly triggers an alarm if a known criminal is spotted. The result: there is one less dangerous person who may be walking with us. A tiny turtle began to climb a tree very slowly. Three hours later, it reached the top, climbed onto the outer branch, jumped into the air waving its front legs and crashed to the ground. Saved by its shell, the tiny turtle started to climb the tree again. Four hours later, it reached the top, climbed on to a branch, jumped into air waving its front legs and crashed to the ground. Undaunted, the tiny turtle tried again. This time it took five hours to climb to the top of the tree. Once there, it stumbled on to an outside branch, jumped into the air waving its front legs and crashed to the ground. As the tiny turtle dusted itself down for yet another laborious ascent of the tree, two birds were watching from above. The female bird turned to the male and said: "Darling, don't you think it's time we told him he is adopted?" An old man was driving on the freeway when his car phone rang. It was his wife. "Herman," she cried, "I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful." A man phoned the hospital in a state of excitement. "My wife is pregnant. Her contractions are only two minutes apart." A burglar broke into a house and started to search for valuables. As he did so, he passed a budgie in a cage and the bird said: "I can see you and so can Jesus." The burglar paid no attention and continued ransacking the room. Again the budgie called out: "I can see you and so can Jesus." The burglar still ignored the budgie but the bird repeated: "I can see you and so can Jesus." "I think luck is the sense to recognize an opportunity and the ability to take advantage of it. Everyone has bad breaks, but everyone also has opportunities. The man who can smile at his breaks and grab his chances gets on." -Samuel Goldwyn Meyer "If malice or envy were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang." - Charley Reese "Maturity is the capacity to withstand ego-destroying experiences, and not lose one's perspective in the ego-building experiences." - Joe Brainard "Nothing on earth consumes a man more completely than the passion of resentment." - Friedrich Nietzche "It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us that makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves." - Helen Keller "He has the right to criticize who has the heart to help." - Abraham Lincoln "In this world everything changes except good deeds and bad deeds; these follow you as the shadows follow the body." - Ruth Benedict Children The eldest son, during his senior year in high school twelve years ago, drew a horizontal line across the map of the US, from Los Angeles to Raleigh, North Carolina. He applied to all the universities north of that line, wanting to attend college as far away from home as possible to experience living independently from parents (not necessarily independently from parents’ finances). He got what he wanted and ended up at the University of Pennsylvania for his undergrad pre-med. Irony of ironies, when applying for med school, he sent his applications only to the 11 medical schools in California, to be as close to home as possible, and got into UCLA School of Medicine. A week after graduation and two weeks prior to starting residency, he came home… sad, and anxious, with feelings torn between the drive to achieve and the fear of failing. This is the son who always was sure of himself, confident, knows what to do and does what it takes to accomplish what he wants to do. Now, he suddenly is scared with all the what ifs in this whole world – what if a patient died during my watch, what it I ordered the wrong medication, what if I erred during a procedure, what if…, what if…. what if…. Now he is facing the realities of life, and he is scared. Our second son, the middle child, who got accepted in Boston to pursue his dream of becoming an aerospace engineer, declined that admission because he doesn’t want to miss “Papa’s cooking” – he said. He opted to pursue that same dream at the University of California in San Diego, Mom and Pop’s backyard. He stayed at the University dorm during his first two years, but returned to the comfort and bliss of home for his junior and senior years. The only daughter, Papa’s little girl, decided to go against Papa’s desire to see her follow his footstep as a lawyer in spite of Papa’s big bribes here, and small bribes there. Papa’s cooing didn’t work – instead she attended UCLA for a degree in psychology and counseling. A year later, she returned home and announced that she’s preparing for LSAT’s, and eventually enter law school. Is Papa still interested?? (Interested, as in – does the offer of financial support still stands?) So, what am I trying to say ??? Four children, three sons and a daughter, all coming from the same genes, raised in the same, exact environment, with the same, exact set of moral and spiritual values, and the same, exact amount of love, care and devotion have grown and developed priorities independent of and apart from their parents. And we, parents have learned to accept and respect their individualities, even it came in direct conflict with ours!!!! Was it easy???? Is it easy???? NO !! It was not easy to deal with children making decisions about their lives and what they hope to become, and us, parents, taking a back seat in that decision-making process. It was not easy for father and mother not be asked anymore “for permission” if children wanted to go someplace (like Hawaii, Australia and New Zealand) and wanted to do something (like skydiving, scuba-diving or air-ballooning). It was not easy for father and mother to watch children go through their young life making a turn here and another turn there, facing life’s harsh realities, struggling through indecisions and insecurities. It was not easy watching them scared and sad and stranded in that long and winding road to tomorrow. Yes!! It is easy for father and mother to be there when times are rough. It is easy to help children deal with their insecurities and their fears. It is easy to put your arms around them as they sob and bury their faces upon your chest. It is easy to let them know that father and mother will remain a constant in their lives - whether they rise, whether they fall - wherever they are, whatever they become. Parents Did our plan work? Was our roadmap effective? -- To a certain extent, yes!! But for the most part, NO!! No, because we left out a lot of variables and we forgot a lot of small details. Small details, such as God so created each man and woman in His likeness, each with body and soul, mind and heart, different from one another and not alike. Small details such as the children inherited their parents’ genes and had minds and determination just like their parents’. Small details, such as children going to acquire higher levels of learning and harness their own intelligence. Small details, such as we thought we have all the answers to all of our children’s questions. Small details, such as they developed friendships on their own with their peers. Small details, such as, they pursued, established and maintained relationships on their own outside of the family. Did we think we fail?? No, we did not think we failed – but we learned, and we learned from our children. We still instilled in them the same set of moral and spiritual values, and we still implemented our brand of discipline – but the pre-conceived goals for them were discarded, and we devised one for each of them along the way. It was just like playing “oido” on the piano – you know, playing by ear!. As parents, we grew with our children, learned their language, learned the nature of their environment outside of the family. We learned that it was okay for us as parents not to have the answers to all of their questions. There were conflicts, big and small, and fights, big and small, over issues as silly and as inane as wearing size 40 baggy pants or stud earrings for the sons, or as big as dating and moving out. There were conflicts as parents struggle to hang on to whatever is left of parental authority and as children struggle to push the wrong buttons for parents to give up that authority. The father had the hardest time dealing with issues that ran counter to his tradition and his belief. The mother had to strike that delicate balance between father and children to make it as right and as fair as possible. Most often than not, fairness and “rightness” were not even the issue!!! In all of these, we learned to choose our battles – and we picked the battles we could win. For the ones we couldn’t – we learned to compromise. On the ones we compromised, the children took ownership of their decisions, and accepted consequences for their actions. There were times when the urge to say “ I told you so” was so strong – sometimes we said it, but most of the time, we didn’t. It was during those times when it was left unsaid that the children learned that father and mother were right. Parents and Children, Children and Parents Our Parents….. Listeners, teachers , a miraculous blend of peacemaker, counselor and the best kind of friends. Postscript - Where are they now? Earl, the youngest, will be graduating from the University of Arizona with a degree in Family Studies in May 2003, and also pursuing his interest in music, forming a band with kiths and kin. About the author: She is a member of CIM Class of ’70 and pursued a graduate degree in Public Health. Currently, the Chief Operating Officer of the Union of Pan Asian Communities in San Diego, a non-profit organization providing health and social services to underserved, low income Pacific Asian immigrants and refugees. as his 18-year-old pregnant MVA wiggled "for a student who doesn't even speak preened, though I failed to shine before I took the overdone unneeded that he was king - at least tonight - all the white coats can fold their arms (Editor's Note: Chloe is the older daughter of Clem Estrera. This poem is taken from Veritas, May 2002, Volume 14, a poetry publication of the University of Virginia School of Medicine, with Chloe's permission. This poem is about Chloe's thought and experience when she was a volunteer student in Ecuador last summer.)
It must be a case of an anomalous strand along the sociobiological metamorphosis of American voice culture. It could be that the ticker to warm the cockles of Caucasian hearts encompasses everything other than being requested to dish out refreshing chords, especially from laryngeal boxes primarily trained for verbal communication and combat. Or plainly, just being devoid of the Asians' stage-aggressiveness trait (Pinoys tag it as "lakas loob") is ample vindication to send our blond brethrens into a fit of breathy, beet red-faced giggle when begged to harmonize with the karaoke machine.************************
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"Hell," exclaimed Herman. "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!" *************************
The doctor asked: "Is this her first child?"
"No, you idiot. This is her husband!"*************************
The burglar decided to show that he wasn't intimidated by the bird. "What are you going to do about it?" he snarled. "You're only a budgie."
"Maybe," replied the budgie, "but Jesus is a rottweiller."***************************
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On Family and Relationships
( A First Hand Account )
- by Marie Belen C. Flores- Rosales, MD MPH CIM Class of ‘70
One summer night last year, our youngest son, on vacation in San Diego, blurted out over dinner, his decision to do a major career shift.. He was an entering senior in the fall at the University of Arizona in Tucson, for an undergrad degree in Physiology with the ultimate goal of pursuing a career in Sports Medicine. He wanted a shift towards Family Studies and music, - quite a shift , which invariably meant a two year delay from his college graduation schedule. His father’s – my husband’s – reaction was typically Dad. Angry, disappointed, impatiently wanting a big-time answer to his big-time question “WHY????" My son was unable to explain, unable to verbalize his inner thoughts, unable to express his emotional turmoil. Many words were said, many feelings were shown – but in the end, one thing was for certain – my son was dealing with his insecurities.
Parents, almost always, if not always, have pre-conceived ideas of how their children should be. Parents, undoubtedly, want their children to be extensions of themselves, representations of themselves, symbols and living proofs of what they have accomplished, a measure of their success. My husband and I were not, in any way, different. Even before the children were born, we knew what we wanted for them, what we wanted in them and what we wanted from them. We created an enviable and fascinating vision with the children as the center of our being. We designed a roadmap on how to make that vision a reality. We defined our moral and spiritual values, we outlined parameters of discipline, we set the goals for our children to achieve. We even designed a contingency plan, in case - just in case, we fall short in achieving some of our goals. It was like creating a business strategic plan for a start-up company, with benchmarks along the way to monitor progress and profitability. So, when the children started coming, we were ready – just so, we thought!!!
We read volumes upon volumes on parenting and families, child psychology and child development – but the most important lesson we learned came from our hearts as we learned to love our children unconditionally, giving them the same kind of trust and respect that we would like for them to give us. The quality of the relationship we have nurtured and fostered was embodied in a simple, inexpensive frame we received from them one Christmas 15 years ago, which said:
Joseph, the oldest, is currently Chief Resident in Internal Medicine at St. Mary’s Medical Center in Long Beach, California, and will start his Hematology-Oncology Fellowship at the City of Hope Cancer Institute in July 2002.
Sal, the middle child, is an Aerospace Engineer currently working with Northrop Grumman designing and developing a new version of unmanned surveillance aircraft.
And Kim, Papa’s little girl, is taking the LSATs in October with the hope of entering law school next fall.***************************
PIMPED
By Chloe Estrera '04
worked-aged and sleep-deprived
the resident doctor screamed at me in Spanish
in a makeshift X-ray room
and muffled pinched cries for fear
more that he would yell than she would deliver
decent Spanish you know nothing" he
almost convinced me, he could see into me
I couldn't remember the right dosage
in his language
anger to be theater for the other five American
students standing behind me
at least here, it was clear, this ragged dirty empty
public hospital in the middle of the strike
and block admissions, health care may not be universal
but pimping is.
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The answer to the riddle is NOTHING. NOTHING is greater than God. NOTHING is more evil than the devil. The rich want NOTHING. The poor don't want NOTHING. If you eat NOTHING, you'll die.
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The APPO Missioners
The Yap Family: Drs. Andy and Celia Yap, Nancy Yap, Tiffany Yap, and nephew Alexis From Left to Right: Tony Yap, An attorney, Al Yap, Dr. Jimmy Kaamino - Chief of Hospital, Andy and Celia Yap 
Surgical Team:Left to Right: Dr. Andy Yap, Dr. Manny Garcia, Dr. Ed Suico, A doctor from Cebu, Dr. Emy Torres Operating RoomHead Nurse Grace in the middle 
Nursing Staff of Siemen's Hospital with Andy and Celia Yap Standing Up Left to Right: Andy, Tiffany Yap, Dr. Ed Suico and Dr. Francis Escario 
Sitting Left to Right: Lorna Tiu, Dr. Vivien Suico, Celia and Andy's family Celebration after Hard Work 
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"I don't want to grow up!..."