June-July 2005 Edition Vol. 5 Issue 3

A free Internet Newsletter publication for all CIM Alumni and friends.

    Clem S. Estrera, Jr., M.D.
          Editor

    Ma. Belen Rosales, M.D.
        Associate Editor

     Ray Castillejo, M.D.
    Binisaya Section Editor

Editor's Column

”If I had my life to live over, I would try to make more mistakes. I would relax. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would go barefoot in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would have more dogs. I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies. I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones.” -- Don Herold

Looking Back - Part 2

Cle S. Estrera, Jr.

Introspection
     We all passed the stage of sheer ignorance and simple innocence of childhood, and the gullibility and naivety of the young and inexperienced. As we look back, we sometimes wish we knew more during those stages, and life would have been different. But would it? I myself sometimes wonder what would have been. Would my life have been better in any way? Would I have done things differently? Would I have set my own different path, charted my own different course and followed it to achieve what I really wanted? Would I have learned to turn every moment of complaint into a moment of choice to do something better instead? Would I have been able to handle disappointments in a way that they don’t trigger or exacerbate my despondent moods? Would I have been less self-centered and more generous with my gratitude and appreciation of others’ efforts and achievements? Would my heart have been less hardened when someone did me wrong? Would I still have demanded more of those I love? Would my life have been more productive and meaningful? Perhaps. Perhaps. Perhaps. Quizas. Quizas. Quizas…

     Of course, the past is gone and there are things that are better left buried. But sometimes it’s good to look back, take stock of things, separate and scrutinize beliefs and ideas that have continued to create and control the patterns of our attitudes and behaviors in order to neutralize them especially if they are limiting our freedom and progress in the present and hamstringing our plans for the future. Doing so could help us identify and isolate the sources of tension and pressure in our life in order to formulate strategies that would lessen their impact.

     Many of our beliefs like religious beliefs have been working well for us - they keep us honest, give us reassurance, and make us willingly choose to go to church regularly on Sundays. But there are beliefs that may need to be re-examined because they may have been counterproductive and working against us. If we continue to allow them to direct our choices, then we’ll continue to have the same behavioral reactions, and to live with disagreements, arguments, and unhappiness in one form or another.

     In parenting, for example, some of us believed that our relationship with our kids could be ironed out with money or material things, and so we often made up the time we could not spend with our kids by buying them things and giving them what they asked for. Because of that belief, we readily chose to give in to dealing with the necessities, desires and distractions of every day life and thus often ignored our love of our family especially of our children. That love failed to blossom and grow, overcome the obstacles, and withstand the test of time – not because of the circumstances of our life, but all because we failed to recognize that love is always a choice, and our belief did not help make us aware of that choice, let alone help us make a better choice.

Assessment
     Psychologists would tell us that the hallmark of maturity is the willingness to periodically assess old beliefs and ideas. Every one of us were programmed to believe many things by our parents, teachers, friends and others during our childhood and while we were growing up. Not that these programmers forced their beliefs and ideas on us, but we picked their beliefs and ideas as our own through what they showed and taught, and as parts of our discipline, growth and development. We don’t need to change or modify these beliefs if they are still effective, but if we remain passive in the face of their negative influences, then they’ll continue to have a deadening effect on our desire to perform and progress in enhancing our well-being and becoming a better person. We won’t be able to grow over our childhood behaviors of pettiness, impulsiveness and self-centeredness.

    When it comes to beliefs, one thing to remember is that our mind doesn’t discriminate; it takes anything we feed to it. Like a computer, what gets in is what comes out – GIGO – Garbage In, Garbage Out. No good will come out from evil. Thus if we feed our mind some garbage, we cannot expect something to come out of it smelling like roses. In order to understand the significance of beliefs, we need to consider the basic steps of the mental process. First of all, beliefs come from our programming, from what we have been feeding our mind with especially those beliefs and ideas we learned or acquired from others since childhood, or from reading and from our own observation and judgment, like what you are reading now. Beliefs direct our thoughts; thoughts create our attitudes; attitudes create our feelings; feelings determine the choices of our actions and reactions, or our behaviors; actions create results.

    If our undesirable actions or reactions are automatic, it’s because our impulse to act has become so overpowering that we can no longer stop and think. The gap between the application of the stimulus and the onset of response is almost non-existence. The main underlying reason is that our beliefs, whatever they are, have constantly led us to allow our anger, upset, fear or hatred to make choices for us whether we are aware of it or not. Our reflexes have become more powerful than our reasons. Our life is no longer governed by personal choices, but by conditioned response and reaction. For example, when someone says something against our religious beliefs and we take it as an insult or a denigration of our religion even if that someone did not intend or mean it to be, we get upset and angry and we react and snap back at that person. And yet, we consider ourselves compassionate. But instead of allowing our compassion that requires a little thinking to make us aware we have choices, we allow our anger or upset to make the choice for us.

    Suffice it to say, beliefs can make us rich or poor, happy or unhappy, do well or poorly in life. Belief doesn’t require something to be true. It only requires us to believe that it’s true. If we believe, for example, that success, happiness, peace of mind and fulfillment in life can be achieved only by becoming rich or having more money like King Midas believed, to us that’s fact! But it isn’t true at all. Or is it? It’s just true to the person who believes it. So, that person will direct his attitude and action toward making more money in order to find his happiness. But whatever it is, belief can strengthen the armor of our spirit and harden the steel of our determination. It can push us up, or pull and keep us down. That’s why it’s important to assess our beliefs periodically.

    Please keep in mind that I’m not telling you to believe what I write. You’re the only one who can make yourself believe anything or anyone. As a matter of fact, my wife and I have been married for 30 years but until now, my wife has never learned to believe me. But I never have any qualms about it. What my daughter called control freaks, are always suspicious. Their minds are closed to anything different than what they are used to. They have their own beliefs that they insist on keeping or are afraid of giving up no matter how much frustration, disappointment and unhappiness these beliefs are bringing them. It takes courage to believe, accept and apply new approaches to old problems. It takes even more courage and open-mindedness to believe someone else’s thoughts and ideas especially someone we assume we know, or someone different than the one we used to know.

Experiences
     I used to believe that I don’t need anyone except perhaps my family to find fulfillment in life. I grew up being independent and I had always admired rugged individualism. Compassion didn’t mean anything to me, and kindness only meant a little - to get something out of it. One night I was called to the hospital for an emergency. While driving on the lonely dark road in the middle of the night on my way to the hospital, my car just stopped and it wouldn’t start anymore. It was so dark because of the trees and there was no moon. Except for the car’s headlights, the only light I could see just few feet behind my car were a couple of eyes of a couple of deer looking at me like I was out of place, sticking like a sore thumb. What made it worse was that my emergency flashlight has its batteries burnt out. Cellular phones were not yet in the commercial stage during that time. So I decided to jog to the hospital because the nurses kept beeping me. It was about three miles away although I had to pass through a cemetery and I was a little bit scared. But half-way through, a couple of cars stopped and both drivers offered help. They remembered me from two years ago when I did their employment physical in our clinic. They just attended a party and on their way home. They drove me to the hospital.

    A couple of months later, a middle age lady approached me in the mall’s parking lot while I was waiting for my daughter to close up shop for the night. My daughter was working in a Café shop in the mall. The lady asked me if I have a jumper cable because she left the lights of her car on and the battery was exhausted. She had a desperate look on her face because almost every one had already left. Fortunately, I was driving my pick-up truck and I always had a jumper cable in there and other tools. She told me that I was the ninth person she approached and all except me did not have a jumper cable. It was then when I realized that when you are able to help someone, it feels so good. It makes you feel like you have done something that really counts like you make a difference, a feeling of fulfillment. And when you are on the receiving end like I was when my car broke down, you see the goodness of mankind like God really intended for all of us to be brothers and sisters. That’s when I began to re-examine my beliefs.

    Another belief I used to believe was that talents are inborn, not acquired. But when my children developed musical talents by taking lessons, I started to look at that belief closely. The more they played the piano and guitar well, the more I took a closer look at my belief about talents, and the more I believe I could develop a talent myself. That’s when I started taking lessons, but things did not turn out well for me regarding musical talents. Also, I could not get rid completely of my doubt of being too old for such talents. When I started writing, something inside told me to believe that I could do it - write better and better - and I became determined to do so.

    Then I came to believe that Brain Waves is an opportunity if not a privilege to do good things for others as a contribution to life; to share stories and philosophical ideas, thoughts or opinions intended to prod, probe and provoke deeper thoughts about becoming a better person, about having enduring loving relationships especially with families, about living more meaningful lives, etc. I also believe that Brain Waves could make a difference, or could make an impact especially on our alumni association. Thus whether Brain Waves has made a difference or it hasn’t yet after all these years, it has not really mattered to me. I still believe it could, and I also believe that making a difference or doing good things for others is the key to life’s fulfillment.

Ignorance
      If we really think about it, there was something about ignorance that made life more exciting and enjoyable. Just imagine if we knew all we were supposed to know in our younger days; our sense of curiosity would have been lost early on, for there would have been nothing much to arouse it. Our enthusiasm would have been replaced with boredom and dullness. Life would lose its thrill, its sense of wonderment and excitement that often comes from the anticipation of knowing or discovering something that is enlightening, something we like and want and changes us from inside out as though heart and soul, principle and personality are coming together.

    Consider being a virgin in our teenage days. Imagine the thrill and the pleasure you’ve felt on your way to the close encounter of the most pleasurable kind – to losing your virginity. Just at the sight of someone you had fallen for, you softened; you could feel your heart thumping when you were besides each other, you trembled when you held each other, and you even read and recited poetry and sang some love songs at least on occasion. And the song goes, “Just one look at you, my heart grows tipsy in me; you and you alone bring out the gypsy in me…” You seemed to feel each other’s rhythm. It seemed like cherry blossom all year round. It was pure nirvana. You held on to each other's hand and let the moments consumed both of you. But would you have all these pleasure and excitement if you already knew what you were supposed to know?

    With ignorance, when we discover something new or new to us, it gives us a pleasant feeling of satisfaction. It brightens our outlook. We become enthusiastic. It’s like we’re groping in the dark and we say, “Let there be light!” and then all of a sudden there is light. It’s as if the night becomes alive with magic that exposes and emblazons the splendor of the universe. We say, “Aah! There you are!” We begin to appreciate things we never did before. We may not feel any wiser, but our discovery, small it may be, has a way of carving a tiny place in our mind that is no longer ruled by darkness. That little discovery is like a clue that leads to another clue, and then another clue, that ultimately leads to the discovery of the buried treasures in the National Treasure. It is like “a kiss to build a dream on.” “Isn’t it romantic?” “As time goes by, a kiss is still a kiss; a sigh is still a sigh,” but a little Discovery is like a little Rover that carries you to where you want to go.

Enthusiasm
     It’s our ignorance or our willingness to admit and accept ignorance that helps remind us to enhance our desire for knowledge that in turn sparks our enthusiastic mood for discovery. That’s how we used to learn to live and grow once upon a time that many of us had forgotten. We used to see things with the eagerness of a child to know and discover something, or to uncover secrets. Our mind was open to the prospect of knowledge. It throbbed with excitement. We were thrilled with the thought of learning and we thrived to gain knowledge and wisdom. But as we mature, we assume an attitude that we are already knowledgeable. It is this attitude that has made us lose our enthusiasm and our childhood sense of wonderment. Our desire for knowledge is gone.

    Have you ever watched a child picking up a bug and looking at it as if it’s the most mysterious thing he has ever seen? He would then examine the bug with unwavering concentration as though he is the lead scientist performing a delicate procedure of splitting an atom. That’s the kind enthusiasm, anticipation and wonderment that we have lost on our way to maturity, and that we should at least try to recover. That’s the kind of enthusiasm and anticipation I would imagine of a couple of readers who claimed to enjoy reading Brain Waves and are always looking forward to its every issue. Yet in our busy life, being constantly pushed and pulled by greater desires and its demands and distractions, we have no time for little things like that. Have we? It reminds me of one of our alcoholic patients one time who claimed that his stressful job drove him to drink. Our outdoor and nature-loving nurse suggested that the patient should spend some time with God’s little creations. Perhaps he might find some peace and calmness in nature that can reduce his stress and keep him from drinking. The patient replied: “Hell, I’ve got no time for bugs, bees, birds and blossoms. I’ve only got time for boobs and beers.” He did have a crude sense of humor. Didn’t he?

     In these day and age when society has made us believe that bigger is better and even glorious, we focus our pursuit on something big and impressive, and thus little things no longer penetrate our awareness. We’ve lost the simple joy of watching a bumble bee pollinating one flower after another like it’s her duty, or the excitement of examining a seashell, discovering its intricate inner structure as if formed by the hand of God. What perk our curiosity and give us pleasure and enjoyment are bigger things and bigger discoveries that others are also seeking for. But since these bigger things are not easy to pursue, let alone achieve, because they almost always require more time, energy and money, all too often we put our enjoyment on hold. So we are like allowing time to steal the years from us while we are waiting for our life to start. 

Enhancement
    Of course, we cannot go back to the ignorance and simple innocence of our childhood, but we can choose to bring out our childhood sense of wonderment and childlike innocence and curiosity. Curiosity is not just for children or for the young. It is a choice for everyone; young, old and toothless. With curiosity, we find more joy more often as we change from casually observing things or ignoring them, from assuming that there is nothing in them to learn or discover, to actively learning about them, seeing them in different perspective and intensifying our spirit of appreciating them. We find meaning and value in the smallest of things.

     Curiosity has a way of making us embrace the blessings of the many small wonders that God had sprinkled the world for us to discover and find pleasure and enjoyment from – A humming bird like a tiny helicopter that never stops flapping its wings even while feeding and then takes off like a tiny jet plane as if it has spotted an enemy plane nearby. Does this kind of bird ever stop flying to savor its food? - Ants tirelessly working together in harmony to carry and store food. What would the world be if men and women can work together with that kind of harmony? How can tiny, brainless little ants respect each other that much without complaints while giant men and women with so much bigger brain could not even get along with each other? Is bigger really better? - Ducks sleeping with their heads tucked under their wings bobbed at the edge of the pond, while unseen frogs croaked from the reeds as if they’re singing lullaby to put the ducks to sleep. What do the ducks do to return the favor? Etc. Aah! That’s curiosity!

    Small wonders they are, aren’t they? Of course, they are not the kinds that attract our attention, let alone take our breath away; they are little things that if we learn to notice and appreciate them could keep the spark and constantly lights the life within us – little things that help us recover our childhood sense of wonderment and enthusiasm that make life more interesting and enjoyable. In life, big things may set the direction for where we are going, but it is the little things that keep us going and get us there.(To be Continued )

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ASOCIMAI News

"Our privileges can be no greater than our obligations. The protection of our rights can endure no longer than the performance of our responsibilities." -- John F. Kennedy, 35th U.S. president (1917-1963)

Art
    Art, as what I understand from one of Ayn Rand’s books, is man’s re-creation of reality. It represents one’s fundamental view of oneself and one’s comprehensive view of his existence. It is his way of looking at existence, his glimpse of a moral sense of life. It’s like saying: “This is what life means to me.” A sense of life is a personal quality; it reflects one’s deepest values and it is experienced by him as a sense of his own identity.

     CONGRATULATIONS to one of our own alumni Maida Antigua, M.D. of the CIM Class 1971 whose three pastel paintings were selected for the Boston 375 exhibition at Boston City Hall, titled – 375 Views of Boston. The Boston Mayor’s Office of Art, Tourism and Special Events received 300 entries and the selection process was tough. For your paintings to be selected for the exhibition, they have to meet the tough criteria of the Selection Committee based on quality of work and appropriateness of work.

     The exhibition started on May 20 and will run till September 1. If you happen to be in Boston within this date, visit Boston City Hall to view Maida’s pastel paintings. View pictures by clicking on: Photos

    To understand at least a little bit about pastel, visit this web site: www.atasteofashland.com

Graduation
    CONGRATULATIONS to Frederick Nick Pascua, M.D. son of FeBenido Pascua, CIM Class 1972 and Mrs. Guadalupe Escobar Pascua. Fredrick just graduated as Doctor of Medicine from George Washington University School of Medicine 2005. He is going to start his Residency Training in Internal Medicine on July 2005 at The University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. View pictures by clicking on: Photos

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Laughter, the best medicine

"Make each day useful and cheerful and prove that you know the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will be happy, old age without regret in life, a beautiful success." --Louisa May Alcott1832-1888, Author

NOTE:Let me reiterate once more that the jokes in Brain Waves are taken from the e-mail circulation. They have been sent to me by different friends or e-pals and I pick the ones that are relatively uncommon and I believe not offensive.

     A body builder picks up a blonde at a bar and takes her home with him. He takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a great chest you have."
    The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lb. of dynamite, baby."
     He takes off his pants and the blonde says, "What massive calves you have."
     The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lb. of dynamite, baby."
     He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear. The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her.
     He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.
     The blonde replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was."

    A Texan tourist looked in awe at the London Eye millennium wheel.
    "Wow," he said, "we have nothing so enormous back home."
    His London host replied: "If you think that's big, wait till you see the size of the hamster!"

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Feature

"It's not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it."-- Lena Horne, American singer and actress (b. 1917)t

Transitions

by: Mariebelen C. Flores-Rosales, MD

    It has taken me a long time to write again. Ideas did not run out. Time… I did have… but this past year I found myself in a limbo where I struggled to pull myself out from a very deep, dark pit to see sunlight and gasp for a little breathe of fresh air. I have never known pain as I have known it now. 

      My mother passed away eight months ago. If there is such a thing as perfect timing, and as I continue to believe that my mother had always been an epitome of time management, I have to say that she couldn’t have timed her passing as perfectly as she did.

     She passed on two days after my daughter’s wedding. She wanted to come to the wedding… she couldn’t. I used to call her once or twice every week to give her updates on details of the wedding and what we had done so far.. I talked to her on the day of the wedding to tell her that everything was going well. She said she was very happy for her favorite grand daughter. I called her the day after the wedding… she was unable to talk to me anymore. Had she passed on weeks before or even months before, the wedding couldn’t have happened as beautifully as it did. I certainly thank her for being so considerate like that, that even in passing, she made sure time was managed so perfectly to place everything into place.

     On the day that she passed on, was also a day, supposedly, for rejoicing because that was the day we knew about the coming of my first grand daughter from my eldest son and his wife. I did not know pain and joy with equal magnanimity until that moment. I didn’t know whether to scream in sorrow or to scream in laughter. It was a tough act to balance two opposite emotions, each, extreme in its own right. For a moment, then, I was like a pendulum of a clock swinging back and forth, waiting for it to stop, and waiting to be turned on again to get back to the swing of things.

     My grand daughter was born a week ago. It has brought a different meaning into our lives, and a different perspective into our own cycle of life. One life passes and another life gets into being.

     As we age, and as we journey through life, we go through transitions that will continue to get repeated with the generations after us as it had been done in the generations before us.

     Mother’s Day this year certainly brought a big lump in my throat as there is no more mother to call and send flowers to. It had brought a new kind of glee as I celebrate it with a brand-new mother, my daughter-in-law.

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History

"Every memorable act in the history of the world is a triumph of enthusiasm. Nothing great was ever achieved without it because it gives any challenge or any occupation, no matter how frightening or difficult, a new meaning. Without enthusiasm you are doomed to a life of mediocrity but with it you can accomplish miracles." --Og Mandino1923-1996, Author and Speaker

Kentucky Facts

NOTE: This is from an e-mail message from one of my American friends.

     Cheeseburgers were first served in 1934 at Kaolin's restaurant in Louisville.
      The town of Corbin was the birthplace of old time movie star Arthur Lake whose real surname was Silverlake: He played the role of Dagwood in the "Blondie" films of the 1930s and ‘40s. Lake's parents were trapeze artists billed as The Flying Silverlakes.
    More than 100 native Kentuckians have been elected governors of other states.
    The song "Happy Birthday to You" was the creation of two Louisville sisters in 1893.
    Teacher Mary S. Wilson held the first observance of Mother's Day in Henderson in 1887. It was made a national holiday in 1916.
     Post-It Notes are manufactured exclusively in Cynthiana. The exact number made annually of these popular notes is a trade secret.
     The public saw an electric light for the first time in Louisville. Thomas Edison introduced his incandescent light bulb to crowds at the Southern Exposition in 1883.
     The radio was invented by a Kentuckian named Nathan B. Stubblefield of Murray in 1892. It was three years before Marconi made his claim to the invention.
    In the War of 1812 more than half of all Americans killed in action were Kentuckians.
    Middlesboro is the only city in the United States built within a meteor crater.
    The Lost River Cave and Valley Bowling Green includes a cave with the shortest and deepest underground river in the world. It contains the largest cave opening east of the Mississippi.
     Frederick Vinson who was born in Louisa is the only Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court known to be born in jail.
     Pike County the world's largest producer of coal is famous for the Hatfield-McCoy feud, an Appalachian vendetta that lasted from the Civil War to the 1890s.
     Mammoth Cave is the world's longest cave and was first promoted in 1816, making it the second oldest tourist attraction in the United States. Niagara Falls, New York is first.

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A song to remember

Those Were The Days

Once upon a time there was a tavern
Where we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we laughed away the hours
And dreamed of all the great things we would do..

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way

La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days

Then the busy years went rushing by us
We lost our starry notions on the way
If by chance I'd see you in the tavern
We'd smile at one another and we'd say

Those were the days my friend..
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way..

Just tonight I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely shadow really me...

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.

La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days.

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